Papa Don't Preach- Revised By Lexie Aebi

Papa Don’t Preach
As we walk down the center aisle, I can feel the eyes of the congregation follow us. We sit in the front pew and I nervously flip through the hymnal. She seems calm, as this is a weekly tradition for her. The pastor makes his way toward the altar. As he does this, she leans over and whispers to me, “Momma makes all of daddy’s robes herself. He has a whole closet full of them.”
Her name is Kara-Sha Jones, and her father is the pastor at Messiah Lutheran Church in Montgomery, Ala. She is a typical southern lady.
As I watch her stare up at her dad, I can’t help but notice the way she crosses her legs at the ankle and the way she lays her hands gently upon one another. She has her hair tied up in a tight bun on top of her head, and is wearing a khaki skirt that falls a few inches below her knees. She obviously has years of practice being in the public eye, as it seems that she does not even notice the people staring.
Jones lived under her parents’ roof until she turned 21. Then she ventured to Texas to see what else the world had to offer. She is taking classes at Texas State University and working part-time. Although she is hundreds of miles away from the town she grew up in, she still cannot escape the pressures of being the preacher’s daughter.
After the mass when I sat down with Jones, she gave me an inside look into her life. “People expect certain things of you, even people who you have never met before. You don’t get the luxury of making mistakes.” She tells me that she has sat in the front row of her fathers’ church every Sunday since she was six years old. Before that, she attended the children’s liturgy.
Kara-Sha’s father, Randy Jones, is proud of his daughter. “She is a good kid. She stays out of trouble and has a strong relationship with God.”
Now that she is on her own, however, she finds it difficult to make choices for herself. “Since I was a baby I’ve been told what’s right and what’s wrong. I know what I should do. But that is not always the same as what I want to do.”
Jones said she feels pressure from both her parents and the congregation to do the right thing. However, she was never able to find out for herself what that really means.
Jones never drank alcohol while she lived with her parents, except for the sip of wine that she took while accepting communion each week. Now she finds herself in a difficult position, because she lives in a college town and is of legal drinking age.
“I know daddy wouldn’t approve of me going to a bar and drinking with friends…but I like to go out just as much as anybody else and I feel like I am betraying him.” She nervously admits that she has lied multiple times to her father about her drinking habits.
When I asked Jones how she feels about premarital sex, she starts to fidget anxiously. She responds by stating politely that the church does not accept sex outside of marriage. Even now, after living away from her father and the church for a whole year, she says she still cannot form her own opinions. Jones quickly changes the subject.
After we spent some time together, she began to open up. She said she has never had anyone to confide in because everyone she knows attends her church. She is petrified that her father will think less of her. Jones admits that for the past year she felt as though she was living a double life. “I am beginning to figure out who I am, apart from who the church wants me to be. I am finally establishing a relationship with God on my terms.”
Jones gave me some insight into her past, and how she ended up where she is today. “Grade school was rough. High school was brutal. I was an outcast by association. My classmates assumed I was a straight arrow. It was hard to make friends.” In her grade school yearbook, nearly every message written by her classmates mentioned something about church. She said her classmates were afraid of her, maybe because of who her father is, or maybe because all of their parents were members of the church. She felt like an outsider.
Now that she is on her own, she is learning how to be a part of a new society. She has three roommates and a boyfriend of five months. She has plenty of friends, and people know her for being who she is and not for being the pastor’s kid. Amanda Martin, one of Jones’ roommates, describes her as being “a normal 21-year-old.” Her boyfriend, Daniel Kratz, said “the fact that her father is a pastor does not affect our relationship.”
Kara-Sha is growing and making her own decisions. She is eager to leave her past behind for now while she finds herself. “I miss my parents but I am happy to be out of the public view.”
Kara-Sha regularly attends St. John’s Church in San Marcos and continues to build her relationship with God. She says she is proud of the person she has become, and is happy.